I just got out of a bloody cold shower. Cold showers are not my favorite form of shower. They are actually my 2nd least favorite form of shower, narrowly beaten by having no shower at all, due to a lack of water, time or inclintion. But this post is not about the horrors of a cold shower. Not at all. It is about having a cold shower, when there are TWO BLOODY GRASSHOPPERS in the bathroom! No, there was no actual blood involved. But it was close. So close.
I was having a nice shower, with hot water and all, when I felt something on my leg. I thought it was soap?, or maybe shampoo foam(?). But no, when I kicked my leg out (and hit the damn wall in front of me), something landed with a faint noise on my left. Foam and bubbles don't make noise. And they definitely don't follow up the landing noise with more jumping around noises. After the soap was successfully washed off my face and braving the shampoo trickling down my head, I peeked. And there it was. A 4 inch long green grasshopper. I hate these things. I didn't know that grasshoppers could fly, until I got here. They are called grassHOPPERS not flyers; why do they have to fly?? Somebody please make them stop. They are so annoying. Anyway, this one landed near the drain and seemed to be playing this game of hop a little, fly a little, hop some more... Ugh. Then it was joined by another green monster. And they proceeded to fight. They were hopping, jumping, flying all over the tiny bathroom while I WAS TRYING TO BATHE! Damn nuisances. By then, in my trying to swat them, avoid them, kill them, all the hot water had run out and I was stuck with a cold shower.
Maybe it wasn't a fight. Maybe it was the green green grasshopper mating dance of tag or whatever. I don't care. Not when I'm bathing. They settled down somewhere near the ceiling. I am too vision impaired to see that far so I just proceeded to get out of there before I was bombarded by more grasshopper missiles.
Damn cold showers.
Double damn grasshoppers.
P.s. I don't think grasshoppers have blood in the normal RED sense of the word. I have seen squashed grasshoppers here and they are all surrounded by something colourless and liquid. Maybe they have colourless blood. And they go crunch when somebody steps on them.
you sound thirteen. that awkward age where you think of things to say, and then end up saying something else. and that something else isn't very coherent either.
ReplyDeletepoor CD. is the stress catching up?
but i thought u were also deaf without ur spectacles. how did u even hear all the jumping?
ReplyDeletecd, 'fess up now. brood's got your number. you made the whole thing up, didn't you?
ReplyDeleteala, how come you do the-repetition-of-the-word-verification thing on my blog, but you don't do it on hers? it's not fair!
ugh. my imagination is better than this.
ReplyDeleteWow. The maturity of the folks comments here is dazzling! Me likes it!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it spelt as Haemoglobin?
ReplyDeleteThat was folks'. Sorry. A little dazed. I blame it on Dr. Almonds' idiocy.
ReplyDeleteIf there's anything bigger than my ego, I want it advocated to Dr. Almond's idiocy.
ReplyDeleteuse of "ae" in normal english is substitued by "e" in the screwed up american way. like Archaeology. you should know this by now...
ReplyDeletehowever, ala, the use of hemoglobin is glaringly wrong in your comment. the teacher would say yeemogulobin(sic).
met, in this case, really, size doesn't matter. specially since the idiocy has overwhelmed everything else in ala. and the ego seems to have had the same effect on you.
sigh.
children.. please..
ReplyDelete