Dear Architect,

I know you don't take requests from real people but please make an exception this time. I know you are busy (with that pesky Neo and annoying Morpheus and the upstart "city" Zion)but please, 2 minutes of your time.

Could you please tell your programs to make the following changes in my reality?

a. When I am having breakfast in front of a million or so strangers so early in the morning, could they please make the sambar a little less scalding?
b. When I want to try something new, could they make sure it is NOT strawbery milkshake? That taste so early in the morning makes me want to barf.
c. When I decide that I don't want to have the taste of a bad beverage and get a cup of hot coffee, could they please move the wet spot on the floor away from my path?
d. If they don't move that wet spot away from me, could they at least let me regain my balance without having to do an undignified slide-hop squeal wiggle in front of the afore mentioned strangers? And when they laugh, could you do that cool 'no mouth to laugh with' thing that Agent Smith did with Neo during interrogation?
e. Make the coffee less hot. I just burnt my hand on the hot sambar. Do you have to burn me twice in 10 minutes.
f. The idly was good. Thank you for that.

P.S Times Of India headline : "Al Zawahiri says blah blah Kill American Infidels" or something and my first thought was, "Didn't they drop 3 bombs on this guy last week and kill him and a bunch of other people?". I read the article and THEN I realised that Al Zarqawi died last week, not Al Zawahiri. AL Zawahiri - Osama's sidekick in Afghanistan; Al Zarqawi - Al Qaeda Terrorist in Iraq. That's not too difficult.