There is a woman sobbing into her cell phone outside my building. At least, I think she is crying. Either that, or she is making mewling noises into her cell phone while she is sitting on the sidewalk, with her head on her knees. I passed her twice; once on my way to lunch and on the way back. Both times I looked at her, looked around and saw other people also give uncomfortable looks and walked on. Both times I felt guilty; like I should have done something – spoken to her, asked her why she was crying, console her. Both times I told myself that that she would feel better if she was left alone, that she would be uncomfortable if a complete stranger asked her what was going on, and so on and so forth. Both times I felt annoyed: why was this girl sitting in public and crying? Couldn’t she at least do in the privacy of the restroom? The dorm? The car park? Outside some other building?
I convinced myself that it was better to leave her alone and I came to the relative security of my cubicle, with the reassuring sound of keyboards being pounded and people on the phone, not crying.
I didn’t talk her not because it would have made her uncomfortable, but because it would have made me uncomfortable. And now I feel terrible; like I should have done something. What would you have done?
Even i would have done the same what you did. I wouldnt have talked to a stranget as the person might feel more uncomfortable with tat
ReplyDeleteThis from the person who says "i like strangers to leave me alone".
ReplyDeleteNobody cries when something can be done. So my rule probably would be, if they are crying leave them alone, all is either lost or trivial, (unless I want to talk to them for a personal reason). If it looks like something needs to be done, then do not even think twice, even at the risk of them saying 'who asked for your help stranger, get lost'.
-Strange r
Good that u left her alone.
ReplyDeleteSimilar things I've pondered upon recently.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I would have done, but it would be rather interesting to switch places with the girl. Let's face it, there you are crying into the phone, something's gone wrong, and here's a stranger who's asking, "Everything fine? You sure look like you could talk to someone", and what would you do? It's not like you're in the mood for a snack and are gonna eat the guy/girl up. Either you're gonna decently say "Thanks, but no thanks" or, if you're the type, you're gonna pour everything out and add another face to the few that you know around.
Either ways, I guess it's not gonna hurt. Now I know what I'd have done, although there's always this fear of being misunderstood, if you know what I mean.
On another note, has anybody done a study about urban alienation at the workplace?
Wow - in the time I finish writing my comment, 3 more! Some audience you've got :)
ReplyDeletesheesh. urban alienation at the workplace!
ReplyDeleteSounds like an Oprah topic. I'm sure Dr.Phil would have a lot to say on that topic.
I just came back from a meeting and 5 comments! Holy shit.
Musafir - I had no idea I had an audience other than the 5 or 6 people who visit occasionally.
What you did was pure escape from the situation bcoz you also know in all cases how she would have reacted in that situation.
ReplyDeleteBut still you can talk to a person in same situation next time.
This is what i did.
Hmmm I would have the same thing as u did - more so coz I have learnt tht ppl need to be left alone- and a lot of times like to dont be left alone.
ReplyDelete-A
oh I would have given her a hug and told her how the whole world is mean and that she is a victim of circumstances and tell her not to worry and that given time one can handle anything (yes even Ekta Kapoor serials) and that would she please put the phone down cos' who knows maybe the eprson at the other end hasnt paid his telephone bills...
ReplyDelete(I mean if a lachrymose girl is crying buckets in the phone in public she obviously didnt make the call...)
I mean yeah sure probably I wouldnt get past "you know the whole world.." (Maybe she doesnt hear me..what with the hug and all..) before shes creams and tells me to get on my way....so unless some calls me to whom I can cry bucketful about how mean some cryign girls are when you console them I guess I will have the consolation that atleast I got/gave the hug...
Why right now I can hear my manager crying and hugging him is something I am not looking forward too :|
*To self: sigh..the problems some ppl face...*
whatever you said.
ReplyDeleteha ha you never even READ my comments do you?:) I mean come on...we pretend to read your posts so atleast pretend to read our comments...you know how it is inanity begets inanity....
ReplyDelete