sometimes it all seems pointless
i am scared. i dont know of what or why.
i want to go away. i dont know where.
i dont like most people. i wonder if most people dont like me
that scares me.
i feel cold. it has nothing to do with the air conditioning.
i seem to be reading more and more fiction about horrible violence.
they say that people who read a lot of fiction lose track of reality.
i have lost something, i dont know if it is reality.
i cant talk with some one for longer than 15 mins without wishing they would would leave me alone.
i dont remember the last time i started a conversation.
is it possible to be anti-others without being anti-myself?
i want to go back to the hostel and lock myself into my room, safe in the knowledge that nobody will bother me.
then i get upset that nobody bothers me.
i grin when people say "thats the way she is" but i really get angry at them for saying it.
i dont like being predictable.
i am tired of being funny.
i dont think i am a nice person.
there are a lot of "i"s in this post.
its 12.03 pm. i want to sleep.
if i see another weightloss program on tv i will go crazy.
"i cant talk with some one for longer than 15 mins without wishing they would would leave me alone" - deja vu!
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't this post surprise me?? The only thing that comes to mind is "Not you too". I don't know why but everytime I read your posts, I keep hearing some song or the other from Evanescence in my mind!!
I stopped caring and it worries me that I stopped caring.
Why work? Why bond? Why converse? Why read? Why remember birthdays? Why try to be funny? Why try to improve? Why earn? Why be good?...aaaaaaaaaaaah
PS: If it's any consolation - and I don't know why I'm saying this -you are not alone.
PPS: Nice makeover by the way!
:D thanks. did you see "TV moments Eminem" on VH1 last night?? it was great. But you have to be an Eminem fan to like it.
ReplyDeleteI believe in Karma now. What goes around comes around.
ReplyDeleteBREAKING NEWS: I live in a flat which has no furniture, no TV, no gizmos save for a few fans and one electric iron. NO T.V.
Thanks for rubbing it in.
PS: Yes, me liking Eminem. Good man. But not always.
PPS: The Karma thing was because not so long ago I was at home, free from CAS, watching all the choicest programs and movies, making fun of people in Chennai. And now this.What is VH1 anyway?
"Me liking Eminem" WTF happened to your English?
ReplyDeleteVH1 is a completely English music channel and they show a lot of these lifestyle shows - "the fabulous life of blah" or "50 great rock n roll weddings" and such. its great fun. and i get to see nirvana, audioslave, aerosmith, eminem, without having to put up with a VJ. YES!!! NO VJs.. How brilliant is that!! btw, VH1 belongs to MTV too.
hahaha me like when you say WTF becos you no say that in reality...ok, ok, I got tired of being 'propuh!!
ReplyDeleteNo VJs you say??? Ah, just when I was beginning to lose faith in Him (just don't tell Girish!). But I don't trust those sneaky nerds at MTV. They can't leave a good thing alone.